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darny
Suna Genin
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PostSubject: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSun Aug 30, 2015 2:43 am

Clan Name:Nehorabi.

Clan Location:Kirigakure.
Size: A small clan, with just 3 members left. To get the kekkai genkai of this clan without being a Nehorabi, one must take the heart of the Nehorabi




Clan Ability Description:
Members of the Nehorabi clan have unique enzymes which allow them to passively absorb and effectively make use of natural energy, with or without training in senjutsu.
However, due to the constant intake of natural energy, they are prone to mental instability, sporadically feeling sudden and uncontrollable urges to kill.. Any NPC or PC that has Nehorabi DNA transplanted in them doesn't need to control their urges( cause they don't get them, e.g Kabuto), an exception is if the DNA is used in the creation of a juinjutsu( e.g cursed seals that Orochimaru created with Jugo's ability)
After each fourth of a Nehorabi's chakra is burned, they will roll a ten sided die. If the required amount is rolled, Nehorabi stays stay sane. If Nehorabi roll under, you go berserk. While in berserk form you can have a strength boost, but Chakra costs are increased(by 25%). This will also be done immediately the Nehorabi enters Sage Transformation
75%: 3 or higher
50%: 5 or higher
25%: 8 or higher. This can be negated if a highly respected person or someone very close to the Nehorabi is nearby. When the user enters the sage transformation.
Berserk Mode:If they have a 8 or higher(25%), they will have their techniques having an increased 25% usage of chakra because of their low chakra control in that stage. This is bserserk mode, it grants 35stat points to all stats
Mid berserk mode:If it's a 5 or higher, the user has a +15% chakra usage added to each jutsu, +20stat points to all, the user is in a mid-berserk mode. thoughs of murder will come to their mind, but not like the berserk mode.
Control Mode: 75%, if it's a 3 or higher, +10stat points to all stats, the user can control themselves in this stage.
Should a Nehorabi stay too long in a mode, they will advance to the next, having 4 posts of staying in a mode will let them enter an even higher mode(e.g, Nehorabi A makes 4 posts in his 75% mode, the 5th post will have him transitioning to mid-berserk mode)

The wielder's body can also secrete special fluids which, through means of Senjutsu chakra, allow them to transform parts of their bodies. While varied by appearance and function from user to user and even from use to use, the affected parts of their skin change colour (the hair colour also may change) and if the transformation occurs in the eyes, they change colour as well. Seemingly, the risk of petrification from the imbalance of natural energy, appears to be non-existent. A person that has achieved control of his emotions during the transformation can also decide to increase his deadliness in battle by utilising the hatred and killing intent the transformation grants the user to increase their fighting spirit and ruthlessness in battle

Being that the natural energy gathered can temporarily be balanced within the wielder of this ability, they can safely transfer their accumulated senjutsu chakra to another individual.
This ability allows the user to continuously gather age chakra without accumulating too much, since the user can balance it, it also allows the user to shape their body in any form they seem fit, if the user has enough skill, they can even alter their skeletal formation( e.g, Nehorabi A can use the Sage Transformation jutsu to change into a dog, though while be quite humanoid but will influence the formation of the bones, the user can fight and stand on 4 legs and fight with ease during that state) they also possess the ability to communicate with animals, the animals can help do their bidding if they like



History:
The Nehorabi, originated from the senju, when a specific part of the clan could harness and absorb sage chakra, their numbers grew in size, but some members of the senju clan members coveted their ability, and this led must to find alternative methods to get their abilities than just saying,"Hey, I want your power, give me please"m

Well to do that, they needed a justification to kill them and get their ability. Soon after, as the Nehorabis displayed more ruthlessness and their unique sage abilities in battle, their fearsome reputation in battle spread like a wild fire, this gave the Senju more reputation and an upper hand over the Uchiha, because every member didn't have the same ability, unlike the Uchihas who always possessed the Sharingan and the Katon affinity, sometimes even having the same techniques.

After weeks of the Nehorabi part of the Senju clan was getting more and more famous, their emotions began to undergo a quite drastic change, although the Senju was known for it's great will which keeps them going, the Nehorabi's had a different way of fighting, they augmented their Sage transformations with feelings of hatred and animosity, this increased their ability tremendously in battle.

After some time, the Nehorabi's were acquainted to imbuing hatred in their transformations, it got to a stage, when they were unable to undergo a simple sage transformation without going berserk. The bad emotions they had towards their enemies was gradually killing them, their control over their sage transformation had been suppressed greatly,they transformed into different animals with just a little insult at their face,they started killing each other anytime they got upset.

The members found a solution to this however, they found a way to control themselves yet again, but the greedy Senjus killed the founding members of this new finding, and destroyed the scroll in which the procedure was written and erased everything that would point to them as the culprits. You would ask why they did this, well it was all because of their lust for power, the part of the Senju called the Nehorabi had caused a little tension with the remaining part of the clans, since some families had their children killed in one of the many wild, uncontrollable transformations of the Nehorabis.

It seems that the Senju had discussed with the Nehorabi's that they would cast them out if they wouldn't stop killing its clansmen, when they began to kill people uncontrollably, a part of the Senju called the 'Killer Squad'(unknown to the public, it's a cult for the execution of the Nehorabis, they lusted for their power, and created a secret cult, those interested in the power of the Nehorabis also joined) were the ones that executed the people who had solution to the predicament that befell every Nehorabi( their lust to kill in a battle) they knew that if they could control their urge to kill, they would be granted forgiveness and allowed to live, they wouldn't be able to openly kill them and secretly transplant their DNA .
With the death of the people who knew how to control their transformation and the destruction of the very scroll that contained the procedure to recontrol tHemselves. The killer squad got what th ey got that which they needed, they had their justification, so that others wouldn't condemn them for their crave for power,the innate aggressiveness created by the amassment of more than enough sage energy(though it doesn't
provide any side-effect, an exception is the killer intent it gives) was what could bring the downfall of the clan.

If they had known, they wouldn't have associated their fighting style with their emotions. The clan members were a danger to anyone around them, even their own family, with the slightest annoyance, they may kill a person, however this was more dominant in some and a little recessive for the rest.

With every sun rise and sun set, with every passing day, the senju slowly corroded into power, the leaders wanted the sage transformation, with that, their wood release abilities would be enhanced tremendously, and it might lead to the destrutction of the Uchiha.

Will the destruction of your own clansmen to. defeat your enemy, will that be good enough?Well, the Senju never reasoned that way.The leaders of the senju organised a meeting, making sure that none of the Nehorabi's would be aware of the meeting, it was a meeting that was held to decide the fate of the Nehorabis, who were tagged "The Monsters Of The Senju".

Little did they know that the little girl( that was to serve as a hostess) was actually a member, she just arrived in the house, and seemingly nothing seemed to have annoyed her since she entered the house, the house I'm talking about is the house of the leader of the Senju, the little girl was a refugee of war, she was left on the verge of death when she was almost annihilated in another one of the common battles that ensued between the senju and the uchiha, it was not rear to spot children on the battleground, toddlers in some case. That was when the world was in total chaos, the little girl escaped the battle by playing dead, until the jonin levelled uchiha was killed by a stronger senju, when the battle was over, and the living abated that ground, soiled the ground with blood, she made her escape, and was working for a merchant, who worked for the senju, however he didn't notice that she was actually a senju, and neither did he know that she was a Nehorabi, her ability to always keep calm and look things like it's no big deal suppressed the feelings that came with the sage transformation.

The girl was later sold to the leader of the senju, where she worked as a maid, after some days, she observed that she was similar to "The Monsters Of The Senju" who were at that time referred to as second class citizens. She taught most of her friends to always keep calm, and this was in a way a cure to the bizarre feeling they experience when in the sage transformation mode.
The little girl heard the plot that was created to decide the fate of her people, and eventually, it was decided that the Nehorabi would be annihilated and a date was set for the annihilation.
The little girl ran with all her might, scared, which made her develop inhuman colouration due to the transformation, she informed her people and they started packing their things immediately.

The next day, there was no single Nehorabi in the senju, they all wondered where they went, but they settled in the demon desert, a place in the Land Of Wind, where they were secluded from the ninja world and turned to monks, to be peaceful and cause little danger, so that they wouldn't trigger their transformation.

On their way to an island in the present day
Sunagakure however, they were attacked by some mercenary. They weren't like bandits and were very strong, the group consisted of people from different clans, even members of the Senju and Uchiha were present, they tore the clan apart, but most of the clan members were able to flee.
With these, the Nehorabi's regained control of their abilities yet again, they had discovered that killing something or someone that they loved coul snap them out of their cannibalistic mode of thinking when in their sage mode transformation which would eventually lead them to cry, and crying in a sage transformation would make them regain control of themselves again.
Most of the clan members were scattered, but the majority resided in the present day Sunagakure.
The event created a lot of orphans, and these new orphans, now wanderers didn't trust anyone, except the companions that accompanied them from the attack that claimed a lot of their clansmen's lives. The scattered children could control themselves when near someone they were attached to, it could be anybody. The person they love, their pet, their childhood friends, anyone.

The children were eventually killed, when other clans discovered them scrambling for food everywhere they went.

The children were killed, and had their dna transplanted, but nobody survived it, no one really thought of transplanting the heart and it's muscles. Witness to this experiment eventually labelled the Nehorabi's blood as cursed, poison and abomination.

Some members of the clan trained in the wilderness, gaining more power and control of the transformation,but no-one could really vouch for each other, they believed that the enemy was still in their prsence, so they never really understood that pain and love was what was needed to break the 'curse' as they would call it, behind the transformation. Only few knew this
The few started teaching other of the abilities derived from the transformation in several gatherings to teach the people how to utilise their transformation.

Soon after, the clan had a comeback to the ninja world, they were stronger than ever, and more deadlier in battle, soon afterwards, the Uzumaki wanted to unite all clans, they came to establish their village,. The Uzumaki and the Nehorabi eventually became allies, and they
formed Sunagakure no Sato alongside each other.



Bloodline Reputation: Their bloodline reputation is regarded as a curse, and so, nobody wants it!!



Clan Jutsus:




*Clan members possess the yang release

*Clan members can form more jutsus they like on this kkg.
The user's senjutsu stat is equal to the user's ninjutsu stat


Last edited by darny on Fri Oct 09, 2015 10:34 pm; edited 7 times in total
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Takeshi Uchiha
Kiri Genin
Kiri Genin
Takeshi Uchiha


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeMon Aug 31, 2015 12:23 pm

The end of the clan description cuts off.

Plz space between Description and History.

Plz limit the clan size to 3 members. This clan is powerful.

As for the rest of it, I'm going to swing it by Ryujin, because I feel like he may think the stat boosts are too high or something.
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


Posts : 480
Join date : 2015-08-23
Age : 22
Location : Ogun State, Nigeria

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeMon Aug 31, 2015 1:15 pm

Well, most of the things u think are hyped are kinda canon, like chain, narutopedia said that it can cover all ranges, and I copy-n-pasted the clan ability from narutopedia, only added some minor things and edited some things, apart from that, nothing else.. Anyways, I've edited the app, only 3 members can join
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Takeshi Uchiha
Kiri Genin
Kiri Genin
Takeshi Uchiha


Posts : 185
Join date : 2015-08-26
Age : 37

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeMon Aug 31, 2015 1:24 pm

Alrighty. Well, Wikipedia doesn't list stat boosters. I am still going to have to have to let Ryujin take care of the rest.
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


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Age : 22
Location : Ogun State, Nigeria

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeMon Aug 31, 2015 2:25 pm

Yeah, no problem, thanks for viewing it anyways, already PMed Ryujin
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Will
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin
Will


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Join date : 2015-08-16

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2015 1:26 am

Some general stuff:

Makes sure you have spaces between the paragraphs in your history so it's more readable. For the Clan size, you can just say "3 members. Must have permission from Darny/Admin." and then the bit about the heart.

As for the stat increases, what exactly do you mean by +1 to nin/tai? Do you mean it is the equivalent of putting one stat point in them on your app sheet? If so I must ask that that be toned down.

For the history, I think I saw somewhere that you couldn't come up with a reason for them to be/not to be Senju? Maybe I'm imagining this, but if you don't want them to be a branch of the Senju clan, you don't have to. They can just be their own clan, no problem, no questions asked.

Finally, for the jutsu, make sure all fields are filled in. In something doesn't have speed or hand seals, just put N/A. I'll look at them more in depth in a bit here, so once you fix the few above issues I can give you the feed back on them.

Over all I like the clan though! Nice job.
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darny
Suna Genin
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2015 3:11 am

Bump!
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2015 6:07 am

IT'S NERFING TIME!

So, I am a little confused on a few things.

You state that people who have the DNA can resist the urges? I am confused. Do you mean that people with the transplant can resist it but those born with it cannot? Please specify.

I don't want another super OP clan, so unless another mod steers me in another direction well enough, I am gonna say that their death of a loved one has to be IC, not in history, at least 3,000 words for a PC, or 5,000 for an NPC, and how does killing intent help in a fight? Please, add more detail to how this helps them.

You talk about "an advanced level." We need something more specific than that. I'd suggest you base it upon a Ninjutsu stat, or something.

Senjutsu doesn't exist as a specialty on this site, so that is one issue with your Jutsu. Another is that I don't think a single one of them would rank as under A. You cannot bring yourself from the brink of death with a C rank Jutsu. And anything healing would be Medical Ninjutsu, not Senjutsu.

I personally feel like this clan is too over powered, too muddled to make sense on this site, and not getting approved unless serious changes are made. I want to see this approved, but it'll take a lot of both of our time.
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2015 6:41 am

Well, Jugo used the killing intent to make himself more bold and cunning in battle,and kabuto that had the dna didn't feel anything or any urge to kill. But I'm kinda aware that this clan is kinda hyped, and to be honest,I don't remember where I put advanced level, it'll help me if you can direct me to segment where it was written. I don't wanna edit yet, cause well, a lot of things still need to be fixed, I'm gonna post the jutsus in the jutsu ranking thread, so that the admins can rank it, and before that, I'll try to solve the senjutsu ability with the admin, I thought if sage mode exists on this site, then senjutsu can exist.



And oh, befoer I forget, I do remember typing that the loss of a loved one can make them gain control of themselves in their sage transformation, and I'll include the minimu WC needed.


Well, the idea of the Nehorabi gaining control of themselves when near someone stems from the fact that only kimimaro could make jugo act like his normal self in that mode, and since kimimaro. Decided to get sasuke for orochimaru, he believes that kimimaro's spirit is in sasuke and is extremely loyal to him, when Jugo is near sasuke, he can control himself to a degree, if you have watched bee vs team taka, jugo fought bee alone, and helped his team-mates
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 01, 2015 6:58 am

I am 100% familiar with Jugo but I don't think his clan translates well into an RP setting. You can talk things over with Ryu and work on stuff but right now this is a big nope to me.
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Will
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeTue Sep 08, 2015 5:11 am

Is this still being worked on? If not it shall be archived.
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darny
Suna Genin
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeFri Sep 11, 2015 1:07 am

Bumped for approval, I don't see anything wrong with the cellular absorbtion, heal bite is also C right?
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Will
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeFri Sep 11, 2015 2:45 pm

I have not checked that you made the appropriate edits in regard to Volt's above post. However, a few specifics for you right away:

I am not going to allow the +1 to ninjutsu. I see no reason why it should exist.

The Cellular Rejection/Absorption will need some kind of rate of healing/chakra stealing.

Chain is far to long a range.

Ax Fist: the parts about blocking weapons bukijutsu do not make sense to me.

Jet Booster Jump: leave the speed boost at 20 and this should be fine.

Multiple Lotus: It cannot be impossible to dodge.

Piston Fist: What does 45 damage added mean?

Sage Mode: What does the "must learn 3 partial transformations" bit mean? Also does this have a drawback of any sort? Like lowered stats after leaving the mode?

Partial Sage: Does this give stat increases or just alter the user's body?
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darny
Suna Genin
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeFri Sep 11, 2015 3:56 pm

Bump, +45 added damage means that every hit will be determined by the user's strength stat+45, though I've made it 25, axe fist has been explained, it makes the skin very tough and thick, that even a kunai or sword won't penetrate, bukijutsu techniques 1 rank higher than the user can be blocked with the fist, like Jugo used it to block some chakra blades aimed at him in the series. So, if the user is a B rank shinobi, they can block any bukijutsu technique that is equal to or less than A rank. Chain has been edited.
Didn't say the multiple lotus can't be dodged, I said by 'normal means', reread the clan app for more info about the multiple lotus.
Now to partial sage and sage transformation, the sage transformation allows my whole body to become something else( eg Mr Nehorabi A can turn their body into another creature they like, e.g a creature with a humanoid figure that has wings, they can now choose any part of the full transformation they desire to have alone, e.g, the Nehorabi can decide to grow wings alone, which will only make the user able to fly, the user can decide to grow the legs they have in the transformation, this grants them more leg muscle and augments the hits of their kicks etc. Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQNusAQNVN1IENFC0Qg2VZGFsj5a9_zPo4j96EtAaVtImGxjmgFVTc2X60e. Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTGwI4rdY0Fj8a0FFu44J9BiK8OPrhNfPO-gELMyiLxZRg9Byv0
Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTeSwHutBpG6bCkHRbWLJw7jHu_5FJDXEBVFvX9Zd-XDprqOoCGfQ2aMSQ
Examples of Partial transformation.



Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT9EXKmNvxfwkYUsk1OV-2L75WbOW8QLXWL9mzWDGEIW7gyQu-dd623Gms
Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTWr4aklrnQFyxopKBr10H4ebogBL1fQTULUlJ6ptGi9PGt4kdELLu6-Po

Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRf5VsjDaIizgfTpVjvqYbkdrpAexWSuKD5lNvwkNzYsTuo_oknrTzIZyQ

Examples of full transformations

Don't get the one about cellular ejection/absorption.
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 12:13 am

I'm still waiting
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Ryan

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 3:12 pm

I guess I'll take a look at this. Give me some time to write up a fluid response
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


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Location : Ogun State, Nigeria

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 3:29 pm

I hope your post will contain everything I need to edit
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Ryan

Ryan


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 9:31 pm

I don't like the whole ability to control your rage because jugo is rarely able to suppress his rage in combat. And Sasuke can't control the curse seal until it's practically removed. Instead of a huge wc to "control" your impulses, I'm treating you the same way all forced rages are going to be treated. With a dice roll.

After each fourth of your Chakra is burned, at 75%, 50% and 25%, you roll a ten sided die. If you roll the required amount you stay sane. If you roll under, you go berserk. While in berserk form you can have a strength boost, but Chakra costs are increased.

75%: 3 or higher
50%: 5 or higher
25%: 8 or higher

And now to jutsu

Absorption should require an opponent to be incapacitated considering the low rank you put on it. Also, how long does it take to become fatal? How quick is quickly. And 2m is far for a melee attack without extensions

Regeneration ejection needs a post amount of healing. After one turns, minor cuts healed. After two turns, deep cuts. Three, fatal damage healed. Four, near death. Also note that this jutsu cannot be used on oneself

Chain should max out at 20m given low rank. Also it wouldn't add speed. The speed of the jutsu would be your own speed from stats.

For axe fist, you can block weapons of equal rank, C, and it's destroyed by weapons of higher rank. And you can block buki or Tai techniques of one rank lower, D, and is broken by equal rank techs. It's an axe, not a shield.

Specify how long jet booster lasts.

Lotus cannons needs to specify how energy is released. You need to say it's in a large beam and how wide that beam is. It also needs hand seals or some amount of startup time for the sake of rp. Also, I'd say this shouldn't stretch further than 100m. 250 is over two and a half football fields.

For piston fist, lose the bit about needing to be chunin. Also don't add a damage boost cause we don't have a damage point system. Make it a strength stat boost instead. Specify how large it makes the fist and how long this jutsu lasts

Elaborate wholly on piston fist style one. It has no strength boost at all so...

Sage transformation, oh boy. This cannot be used to create curse seal. Juinjutsu are limited. Stamina and sensory abilities are not stats and cannot be boosted. Same with reflexes. At ninjutsu two it just says increase in rank. We don't have ranks. Stop being lazy. Also what are three partial transformations.

Elaborate wholly on partial sage transformation.
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darny
Suna Genin
Suna Genin
darny


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Join date : 2015-08-23
Age : 22
Location : Ogun State, Nigeria

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSun Sep 20, 2015 12:02 am

Ok, that is a wall of text. I have to say it, but let me briskly type what I want to type, cause of this darn battery

First, let me talk about piston fist. Jūgo uses his transformation to grow jetbooster-like arms that increases his attacking
and throwing power. This is a more powerful
version of Piston Fist, with the combination of
the Jet Booster Jump.. Click
. So piston fist increases attacking power, which is strength on this site. It makes the speed of the punches increase, and when it does, the attacks become more swift and stronger.

About axe fist, it was capable of blocking Suigetsu's sword( one of the SSM), I'll like to give it durability, but I don't kbow what to put there. If I edit it and put my own durability stat there, I might end up editing it out. And can we make it to be able to block tai and buki of the same rank?, cause it could block some chakra blades in the anime. And yeah, it's not a shield, it doesn't need to be one, if you have a sword, in my opinion it is, if you're skilled with it, you can parry an attack with your offensive weapon
. So what I'm saying in essence is, I want you to give me durability points and a rank, though rank alone is fine, when I have the rank, I can easily fix in durability


On partial transformation, it's transferring a particular part of your body with the sage transformation. E.g Mr A is a Nehorabi, and is arm wrestling with Mr B, if he is outclassed by Mr B in strength, he can partially transform his arm(I.e only his arm would undergo the sage transformation, his body would still look the way it was, no scales covering it, no extended hair, no darkening, nothing, only the arm would transform.
. So about the reflex, stamina and senses, I'll edit 'em out. But if I'm allowed, I'll like to create senjutsu sensing range for each ninjutsu skill( which is equivalent to Senjutsu skill), don't worry, it won't be much. For the absorbtion, I'll bump it to 1m range, the needle protuberance sticking out of him can reach their opponent at that range. I'll like to bump chain to C rank, please tell me the range I'm to put.
Multiple lotus cannons doesn't take much time, os I'll say 1 post charge up.. And by controlling Jugo's cursed seal, I didn't mean that Sasuke could control it by himself( when he had the curserd seal), instead, Jugo could control his impulses around Sasuke, I'm good with the dice roll and all, but can therE be a person that the Nehorabi respects, loves so much and is seriously loyal to that when near them, they can control their impulses?

And hey, the sage transformation was used to create those cursed seals, but if you say It's limited, no problem








Well, I'll edit the others later, my phone will soon die, hope you don't mind
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Ryan

Ryan


Posts : 500
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSun Sep 20, 2015 12:46 am

Lol you said to list all edits. Sorry for the wall though.

Also, I'm fully aware of what each of these techs do. However I really want you to emphasize specifics for people who don't know what they do, ya know? I'm not trying to be a dick about it but a lot of people leave unknowns in their jutsu that cost them when they fight people like me who will vague manip unclear descriptions.

As for Axe, I said it can block equal rank blades. The guard isn't broken unless they use a buki tech. Also, even if a character from the series was able to do something, that doesn't necessarily mean it's applicable to your character. If you wanna block higher rank techs, just make higher rank versions of this jutsu. You don't need durability points lol. Just say plus one rank for non jutsu attacks and equal rank for jutsu attacks.

Also, I know what partial transformation is, but again I'd like you to be clear in the actual jutsu description for anyone that is reading. If it's going to make you stronger, be sure to state that and say how much. That type of thing.

Sure, you can make a senjutsu sensory tech.

For chain, I suggest making multiple ranks that extend further each time. At C rank, thirty meters should be fine.

A whole post for any jutsu start up is way too long, especially if you can't move while charging it. Just give a time. Timing can get finicky in rp but sometimes you don't have another choice.

As for the loyalty, just don't attack the person you're loyal to and you won't have to worry about going into berserk mode. Remember it only happens when you expend Chakra in combat.

As for orochimarus Juinjutsu, yea it was. Jugo was the father of curse seal. But for now, we can't have that as juinjutsu is on the limited list. But it may come into play later (cross your fingers!)

Finally, I'd like to thank you for being compliant. Oftentimes when I ask someone for big edits they get all angsty and rage and make me not wanna grade stuff. When I stumble upon people who are actually willing to work with staff it makes me happy. So thank you.
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darny
Suna Genin
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darny


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2015 2:26 pm

Bump!. Don't know if this is ok
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Neah Senju
Hokage
Hokage
Neah Senju


Posts : 258
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Age : 36

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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 26, 2015 9:25 am

One question why do you need the heart. Just saying kabuto did it with blood from juugo why go so far just to get random berserk sprees?
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Ryan

Ryan


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 26, 2015 12:01 pm

Don't just copy paste what I said. Be specific. How much more Chakra do they burn in berserk mode. How much strength do they gain. Don't be lazy
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darny
Suna Genin
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darny


Posts : 480
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Age : 22
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSat Sep 26, 2015 1:28 pm

To be honest, I don't think berserk mode should cost more chakra, it has it's disadvantage, and once the dice has been rolled for it, if successful, the Nehorabi should just get Added strength, durability and speed.
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Neah Senju
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Neah Senju


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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitimeSun Sep 27, 2015 7:15 am

Ryan i have to disagree. It would be a stat boost. Rember how much stronger juugo became when he went full berserk. SO in my oppion it would be a stat boost but id say full berserk mode and transformations would have a senjutsu pool. Its basically a weaker version of sage mode and once the chakra goes or they deactivate it of there own will or due to unconsciousness they will suffer a penalty of a much weakened state like side effects for sage mode.
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PostSubject: Re: Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan)   Jugo's clan( The Nehorabi clan) Icon_minitime

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