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Demonfist
Kumo Jounin
Kumo Jounin
Demonfist


Posts : 48
Join date : 2015-08-01

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PostSubject: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeWed Sep 16, 2015 4:26 pm

Name: Earth Release: Earth Dragon God Blast
Rank:A
Type:Ninjutsu
Element: Doton
Range:Short To Mid ( 5 - 20 meters)
Handseals: 6 Seals Needed( Ox, Tiger, Dragon, Ox,Hate, Tiger)
Speed: 80
Description:After the needed healseals, The user slaps their open palm into the ground and it begins to shake. A large, bronze dragon head peaks out of the ground and roars to reveal its lengthy stone body. Then it dives back under, traveling to the opponent through the ground. When it finally reaches the opponent it shoots up in full dragon form and smashes into them with an enormous force, exploding on contact. The explosion causes the dragon's bronze body to move outward with immense force.  

Name:Hell Zone Rock Shard
Rank:B
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range: 25 meters
Handseals: 4 Seals( Horse,Rat, Bird, Ram)
Speed: 60
Description:This jutsu is a deadly one and may be difficult to dodge the user will focus his chakra into the ground shaking it violently then raising small rock shards from the ground then surrounds an Area of 5 yards by 5 yards then after a few seconds the user will clap his hands together the rock shards will then will gather into the center of the area destroying a target.

Name: Doton Tsuchi Tsunami no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Giant Wave Technique)
Rank:S
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range:50 Meters
Handseals:6 Seals( Ox, Hare, Dragon, boar, dog, snake)
Speed: 90
Description:IA jutus created by Yago himself. The user after performing the needed hand seals puts his hand on the ground and molds a massive amount of chakra into the ground. A large, tsunami size wave of earth roughly 60 meters high and 50 meters wide of rock rises up in front of the user and crashes forward, doing immense damage to the landscape as it crashes on top of it's intended target doing massive damage.


Last edited by Demonfist on Mon Sep 21, 2015 12:59 am; edited 4 times in total
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Conceited

Conceited


Posts : 253
Join date : 2015-07-31

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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeWed Sep 16, 2015 6:08 pm


Review

Demonfist wrote:
Name: Earth Release: Earth Dragon God Blast
Rank:A
Type:Ninjutsu
Element: Doton
Range:Short To Mid ( 5 - 20 meters)
Handseals:N/A
Speed: N/A
Description:After the needed healseals, The user slaps their open palm into the ground and it begins to shake. A large, bronze dragon head peaks out of the ground and roars to reveal its lengthy stone body. Then it dives back under, traveling to the opponent through the ground. When it finally reaches the opponent it shoots up in full dragon form and smashes into them with an enormous force, exploding on contact. The explosion causes the dragon's bronze body to move outward with immense force.

Dragon needs speed. There should be hand seals, the jutsu description even mentions hand seals.

Demonfist wrote:
Name:Ikiumeru no Jutsu (Alive Burial Technique)
Rank:A
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range: 5-20 Meters
Handseals:N/A
Speed:N/A
Description: By performing a series of hand seals, the user can make the ground underneath the target come alive, and split open. The earth will swallow the target like quick sand, while a large gap is made to pull the target into. When the entire target is underground, the ground grows solid again; leaving the target buried alive underground.

Hand seals, please. You even state the technique has hand seals in the description. Radius of the gap. Pick, does it split open and engulf the target or is it quick sand?

Demonfist wrote:
Name:Hell Zone Rock Shard
Rank:B
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range: 25 meters
Handseals: N/A
Speed: N/A
Description:This jutsu is a deadly one and may be difficult to dodge the user will focus his chakra into the ground shaking it violently then raising small rock shards from the ground then surrounds an Area of 5 yards by 5 yards then after a few seconds the user will clap his hands together the rock shards will then will gather into the center of the area destroying a target.

Speed is needed.

Demonfist wrote:
Name: Iwa Finaru (Earth Release: Rock finale) Rank:S
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range:50 Meters
Handseals:N/a
Speed: n\a
Description:It is highly destructive earth ninjustu. After needed handseals. Rocks and debris materials, as well as chunks of the earth will continuously barrage at the opponent from all directions. As soon as each of the pieces of earth, rock or debris approaches the opponent, they will explode, causing a brutal destructive force with all the pieces exploding. Using this technique as mentioned will cost a B rank of chakra upkeep per post, meaning it can only be done for so long.

Add the hand seals. How and why do they explode? Upkeep is predefined by the chakra system. Also, not really seeing how you're capable of doing this so do elaborate.
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Demonfist
Kumo Jounin
Kumo Jounin
Demonfist


Posts : 48
Join date : 2015-08-01

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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeThu Sep 17, 2015 11:31 pm

Edited replaced last jutsu with something else and added hand signs ( Although I've seen jutsu that require hand seals get approved without them being added, But that getting into something else.) Don't mind following the rules.
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Conceited

Conceited


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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 9:39 am


Review

Demonfist wrote:
Name: Earth Release: Earth Dragon God Blast
Rank:A
Type:Ninjutsu
Element: Doton
Range:Short To Mid ( 5 - 20 meters)
Handseals:N/A
Speed: N/A
Description:After the needed healseals, The user slaps their open palm into the ground and it begins to shake. A large, bronze dragon head peaks out of the ground and roars to reveal its lengthy stone body. Then it dives back under, traveling to the opponent through the ground. When it finally reaches the opponent it shoots up in full dragon form and smashes into them with an enormous force, exploding on contact. The explosion causes the dragon's bronze body to move outward with immense force.

Dragon speed is still needed. I recommend 70 or 80.

Demonfist wrote:
Name:Ikiumeru no Jutsu (Alive Burial Technique)
Rank:A
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range: 5-20 Meters
Handseals:N/A
Speed:N/A
Description: By performing a series of hand seals, the user can make the ground underneath the target come alive, and split open. The earth will swallow the target like quick sand, while a large gap is made to pull the target into. When the entire target is underground, the ground grows solid again; leaving the target buried alive underground.

Got no problem.

Demonfist wrote:
Name:Hell Zone Rock Shard
Rank:B
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range: 25 meters
Handseals: N/A
Speed: N/A
Description:This jutsu is a deadly one and may be difficult to dodge the user will focus his chakra into the ground shaking it violently then raising small rock shards from the ground then surrounds an Area of 5 yards by 5 yards then after a few seconds the user will clap his hands together the rock shards will then will gather into the center of the area destroying a target.

I should've clarified that I mean the actual speed of the debris and not the hand seals. I recommend 60.

Demonfist wrote:
Name: Doton Tsuchi Tsunami no Jutsu (Earth Release: Earth Giant Wave Technique)
Rank:S
Type:Ninjutsu
Element:Earth
Range:50 Meters
Handseals:3 Seals( Ox, Hare, Dragon)
Speed: n\a
Description:IA jutus created by Yago himself. The user after performing the needed hand seals puts his hand on the ground and molds a massive amount of chakra into the ground. A large, tsunami size wave of earth and rock rises up in front of the user and crashes forward, doing immense damage to the landscape as it crashes on top of it's intended target doing massive damage.

Speed is needed. I recommend 90. State how wide the technique is.
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Ryan

Ryan


Posts : 500
Join date : 2015-08-04

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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 3:45 pm

http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Earth_Release:_Antlion_Technique

Alive burial technique denied because it's extremely similar to a Canon technique.

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Demonfist
Kumo Jounin
Kumo Jounin
Demonfist


Posts : 48
Join date : 2015-08-01

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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeSat Sep 19, 2015 11:25 pm

Edited removed alive burial and edited everything else.
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Will
Konoha Jounin
Konoha Jounin
Will


Posts : 746
Join date : 2015-08-16

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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitimeMon Sep 21, 2015 1:01 am

Above edits have been made. This looks good to me.
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PostSubject: Re: Neat Doton Jutus    Neat Doton Jutus Icon_minitime

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